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Sir & John Jokes

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'Sir, sir, the peasants are revolting!', the servant tells his master, nervously.
'Don't say that, John, you'll hurt their feelings!'

***

Sir asks John for a glass of water. The servant brings one on a silver tray, and the master drinks it, then throws it out the window. A loud scream is heard, instantly, from the yard.
'John', the master says, 'you didn't tell me there was someone inside my glass.'

***

On a warm summer day, sir calmly asks John for a glass of water. Then, he asks for another one... and another one, and ten more. Surprised, John asks: 'Sir, why do you need so much water?'
'Can't you see, fool? The room is on fire!'

***

Sir orders John to buy a huge amount of fish. John obeys, but asks his master what he will do with it.
'Well, John, I eat what I can and I can what I can't.'

***

"John, go outside and take the dog for a walk", the master orders.
"But, sir, it's raining!", the servant answers.
"Alright, then take the fish for a walk."

***

"John, where did you leave the dog?"
"In the fridge, sir."
"Are you insane?! It will be terribly cold."
"That's not true - I closed the door."

***

"Sir, can a cactus walk?", John asks.
"No."
"I'm sorry, then. I watered the hedgehog again."

***

"John, did you fill the fishtank?"
"I did, sir, but the fish didn't drink any water yesterday."

***

"John, go outside to water the plants!"
"It's raining, sir."
"Then take your umbrella with you!"

***

"Sir, there are thieves in the library!"
"Is that so, John? And what are they reading?"

***

"John, bring me the piano!", the master orders, before driving away from London.
John calls all the staff for help and, in 15 minutes, they bring the piano outside.
"I don't mean to be rude, sir", the servant says, "but why did you want the piano?"
"Oh, I forgot my lighter on it."



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