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Lawyer Jokes |
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Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What do you need when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: More sand. Q: Why did the lawyer cross the road? A: To sue the chicken on the other side. Q: How was copper wire invented? A: Two lawyers found a penny. Q: What are 100 lawyers on the bottom of the sea? A: A good start. Q: What extraordinary event takes place during winter? A: A lawyer keeps his hands in his own pockets. *** A judge was asked to contribute 10 bucks to a lawyer's funeral."Here's a hundred," he said. "Bury 10 of them." *** In a famous lawyer's house, there was a painting of a cow: a peasant was holding it by the tail, another peasant, by the head, and the lawyer was milking it. *** 'What job does your dad have?' a kid asks his friend. *** A lawyer gets the best house in Heaven, making all the priests protest. *** During the Gulf War, Saddam had a plan to beat the United States. He was going to kidnap all the lawyers in America and release 100 a day until we surrendered.*** Parents, here's a helpful tip when guiding your children towards the right profession: if they don't come when you call them, they'll make great doctors; if they come before you call them, they'll make great lawyers. *** A man walks into a bar with his alligator and asks the bartender: *** Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and a drunk man are walking down the street together when they all
notice a twenty dollar bill on the ground. Who gets it? |
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